Vibrators, wine, erotic cupcakes — oh, my!

Upon receiving a (private) Facebook invitation for a “Pure Romance” party, I wasn’t exactly sure what I was being invited to until I read through the description. Oh — a sex toy party! My curiosity was piqued, so I decided to attend, and invited a friend who was just as curious to tag along.

I’m not exactly the type to update my Facebook status to “Hey guys! On my way to a Sex Toy Partayyy! I’ll post pics later!”—no shame if that’s your game!— but I didn’t want my very conservative aunt to know that I was attending such an event.

It’s a huge misconception that these types of parties are for especially kinky people. I’ve attended two so far, and the group of girls who were in attendance were just there to learn more about adult toys, ask questions, and have fun. In fact, it’s more about education and empowerment than sexual acts.

Personally, I’ve always been embarrassed to walk into a sex shop out of fear of judgment (even though I know no one knows me there)! The only time I’ve ever gone into a sex shop was when I went on the Sex and The City tour in New York City. But hanging out in someone’s home, and drinking wine and laughing with a good group of girls is a completely different experience.

It doesn't matter if you’re married, single, dating, in a relationship, or in something *complicated*. If you’ve ever wondered what goes down at a sex toy party, there’s no need to feel embarrassed.

Here are the key takeaways from my experience.

get ready to mingle

When you arrive there’s usually a bit of chit-chat, catching up with friends/meeting newbies, and grabbing some snacks and wine. Nothing sparks a sex toy party like themed snacks. (Imagine a penis-shaped cake and half-naked men toppers on cupcakes, in case you were wondering.) There will also be a sex toy consultant from a brand to educate and answer all questions. At both parties I attended, there was a consultant there from Pure Romance.

To get the party started, the sex toy consultant will have a couple of x-rated icebreaker games so everyone can get to know each other, which usually brings good laughs and sets a good, positive vibe for the evening. All you need is a good sense of humor and some red wine.

you’re in a judgment-free zone

100%. The vibe is very laid back and comfortable. Everyone is curious and wants to learn more. The parties that I attended were women only. If you’re someone who’s more comfortable in an all-female environment, the hostess will usually let you know in advance if it’s a co-ed event.

test, taste, and lick everything

Okay — maybe not everything. But you’ll get a chance to learn about different products, and you’ll be surprised by the amount of stuff you can use your index finger to taste and test. The consultant will explain how toys and other products work, and pass around lube, creams, perfume, lip gloss, toys, and lingerie. And if you didn’t want to taste/try anything, your choice will be respected.

It’s a whole different experience when you’re passing around a high-intensity vibrator that takes out the knots in your shoulder blades, and as a warning — you’re probably gonna want to buy it just for that reason!

there’s no pressure to buy anything

While the consultant is there to educate and answer any questions, there is no pressure to buy anything. If you’re interested in an item, you can mark it on your handy order sheet as a reminder. But if you decide you don’t want anything when it comes time to place orders, it’s all good.

ordering in private is a-okay

If you do want to buy something, you’ll meet with the sex toy consultant in a private room or quiet area away from the party. But, honestly, no one cares what you do or don’t buy. Just know that if you are shy about ordering something or asking questions in front of people, you can do so in private.

These parties are all about learning and empowerment. Don’t be embarrassed to attend or host a party. Your girlfriends will thank you for hosting! With the right group of friends, party-themed cupcakes, some wine, and laughs, you’re guaranteed to have a good time!

Have you ever hosted or attended a sex toy party? Or do you have any reservations about going to one? Share your thoughts with us in the comments!

Priya Shah is a Chicago-based freelance copywriter and serial blogger armed with a journalism degree and a strong background in providing clients with value, creativity, and a killer voice. She’s also a world-traveler, has lived abroad, and loves exploring other cultures.

by Priya A Shah